If you've been a part of the Internet for more than a few months, you've probably been exposed to the Darwin Awards. For those who haven't, The Darwin Awards "commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives," one Darwin Awards Internet Web site claims. The winners "eliminate themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chances of long-term survival."
The problem with these awards though, is often many of the nominees are pure fantasy and not confirmed. The following are truly stupid deaths and their accounts were published in legitimate newspapers:
* Two German tourists at a wild animal game park in Spain decided to get closer to nature. Despite signs warning tourists not to get out of their cars, they were determined to tour the "Tiger Grotto." The tourists then stupidly locked themselves out of their car, to the gastronomical pleasure of three large Bengal tigers. (London Telegraph)
* In Georgia, a 46-year-old plumber removed a manhole cover on a street and jumped in. He was looking for a sewer blockage. But he forgot to set up a traffic warning. On the way back up, his forehead made the acquaintance of an oncoming car. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
* Last March, a completely soused Christopher Piper, an Englishman, tried to fill his butane lighter, but he spilled butane all over himself. Somehow, he got the idea that if he flicked his lighter on his pants, he could evaporate the spilled butane. A few seconds later, as he dived through the picture window of his home, he set fire to the curtains and everything else. Once outside, he turned a BMW to cinders. (Times of London)
The year is still young; check back with LOOSE DIRT for more candidates!
(Source: John Kass' column in the Chicago Tribune on 6-30-99).