One of the big things that's kept me rolling along, singin' my song, is garlic. It works on a simple principle. The scientific reason you die is you get a visit from the Angel of Death. He usually comes late at night when you're sound asleep or just nodding off after your Ovaltine. He comes over to you, and says, "OK, Murray this is it. Pucker up." He's ready to give you the kiss of death.
So, every night before I retire, I eat a good pound and a half of raw garlic. Then I lie down, pull up my crazy quilt, and start to snore. When the Angel of Death taps me on the shoulder, I gather up a big breath and ask, "WHOOOO is it?"
He always goes, "PHEW!" holds his nose, and runs away fast. Last time he tried to get me I heard him mutter, "I don't care if I lose my job....I wouldn't kiss this guy for a million dollars."
---- Chapter 23 "Garlic," from "The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book (including How to NOT Die and Other Tips)" by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner (c) 1997.
